A Guide to Dating During the Pandemic, by Dr. Albie Pearson

The glass is half full, or it's half empty.  It's all a matter of perspective.

In my book, "The Glass is Half Full, or it's Half Empty.  It's All a Matter of Perspective" (available on-line) I go into this in greater depth.  About your perspective.

Some people see this pandemic as setting limits on them.  Others see it as an opportunity.

What has all this to do with dating during the pandemic?

Opportunity.

It's so important during these difficult days to try to keep a stiff upper lip, to keep things as normal as possible.   And what could be more normal than dating on a Saturday night and hoping to get lucky?  Because I continue to make a lot of money telling people to be optimistic, I see this pandemic as rife with opportunities.

Of course, safety first.  The medical community has given us guidelines and it behooves us to follow them. The guidelines say we can't go to work, or move around in the community.  And if we do move around, we need to stay six feet apart. It prohibits heavy breathing and the exchange of fluids- both of which are key components of an active dating life.

So how do we make it work?

Looking forward to a quiet romantic dinner?  Send a pizza over to her or his house, stoke up the cell phone and dine virtually. Really feeling romantic?  Wear skimpy and revealing clothing.

But you say you are old fashioned, and take out won't cut it?  Simple.  Order and send groceries to your beloved. They can wear skimpy clothes and prepare a lovely meal, all while you watch. And if there are leftovers, just put them in a tupperware container, and drop them off at your partners front door, ring the bell, and run away.

What about meeting people who you could potentially date?  Well, the internet has been all over that for years, wink, wink.  Need I say more?

As for intimacy- from whispering sweet nothings in her ear, to full on jello wrestling- well here is where we need to get creative.  Again, the ability to interact sensually with one another over the internet is an art form that many of you have been practicing for years.  (And don't send in any tips to this column, I am already in enough trouble with the FCC).

You can exchange pictures with one another.  You can send amorous voice recordings across the internet.  You can role play.  You can even send naked pictures of people you aren't and make believe they are you. Although that only works very early in a relationship.

Not good enough?

Well, from here, you're on your own.  But if you decide to sneak across town, toss a pebble at your paramours window and expose yourself when he or she answers, don't let the police catch you.

Opportunity.  It isn't monkey business as usual, but we needn't celibate either.

In my next column, I'll talk about how to handle being trapped in a house with meddling in laws.

Be careful out there.